Cold, evening, Christmas season, fresh from a pedicure, sharing Greek appie’s with my daughter… I mention that I’m feeling lost; when so many friends are commenting on how I’m ‘Living the dream’ I’m embarrassed to admit how I’m feeling disenchanted. Kate’s response “But are you living YOUR dream”?Why might people say I’m living the dream? Well, my husband and I took a break last year, with the plan to spend a year goofing off, mostly in Mexico. We love the little town we settled in so much that we decided to spend ‘a big chunk of the rest of our lives here’, bought a condo and came back here to work. Why I’m lost? My dad recently died. I never thought I could feel such pain. He was always my rock, and other than my husband, dad was the person I trusted most in the entire world. He knew me, he GOT me. Never one to use words frivolously, he’d tease me, often to a room full of people, “Cindy has always been busy, she just gets things done”. I’d feel so honoured to be ‘seen’ and ‘understood’. Our family is made up of steps and half’s, as many families are these days, I always knew my daddy loved me, even though I was adopted by him when I was 3. I never doubted his love for me. When one of my sisters, got the 4 ‘blood’ kids of dad together for a photo, right in front of me, dad came over to see me, immediately, to let me know he saw the pain in me and to tell me it wasn’t his idea. Together we didn’t understand why my sibling needed to create that separation but we both trusted that it was something needed and honoured that. He knew me like no other, I miss him. Dad was the rock that kept us ‘kids’ together; I’m blessed to have 7 brothers and sisters. The passing of dad has upset us all in different ways and has most definitely created friction which I trust will pass but for now that pain too, encompasses all of me. The reason I’m disenchanted in living this dream, and oh my… it is a dream, is that I’m away from my kids. Just before dad passed away he and I talked about having it all. It’s ironic that when we were raising kids and working round the clock to pay the bills we couldn’t enjoy travel and rarely took time off. Now we can afford ‘this new life’ and we’re away from family and friends. Dad just looked at me and said “That’s how life works”. Kate’s words “But are you living YOUR dream?” plays over and over in my mind. Today being the last day of January and me being a goal setter, I thought I best address it. Pros;
Actually; since I first travelled at 21, I always thought I’d love to live and work in another country. I’m doing both and working here is far more rewarding than it is at home.
I’m learning a new language, albeit slowly, which feels good and keeps the mind sharp.
I LOVE the people! My husband says “If you think the temperature in Mexico is warm, wait until you meet the people.” So true, so kind and warm.
I love walking on the beach everyday.
My joints feel good.
The pace is so much easier here. We rarely wake to an alarm clock, we walk daily, we visit and share with others.
I write everyday.
I love sunshine and warmth.
It’s a new frontier; our little town just put in a world class marina and yet it has a development plan to keep it a Mexican community as opposed to a sprawling jungle of all-inclusive resorts. I like that.
As above, our design/build business is likely to flourish in this market.
We eat so healthily, it’s almost impossible to eat junk food here. On my morning walk I often select the fish of my choice for that nights meal, yum!
We hear great music everyday; our town is a music mecca.
I get to dance, often, at least 2-3 nights per week.
We interact daily with like-minded people. Others in similar situations/tax brackets doing similar things.
We live in a town with a ‘can-do’ attitude; people get things done… when they want to!
We give back to the community and are included in the growth of the community.
I love the friendly competition. i.e.; The restaurants purposely share busy nights so that they share the wealth. They each have one night to shine and totally support each other. We just heard of a bar/restaurant that was so busy last night that they had to borrow chairs from another patron. Nice! Cons;
I miss my kids and they don’t have unlimited vacation time, shucks!
I miss my family.
I miss my friends. Once again I’ve been inspired by Kate! So I ask myself “Am I living MY dream”? After going through the above, yes, I guess I am. So, my main goal for 2011 and onward, create ways to be with the kids more. There are the summer months when we’ll return to Canada. Every other year or so we’ll spend Christmas in Canada. Sometimes the kids will visit us here. There’s skype… now that we got the dang internet working, LOL. Now it’s your turn… are you living YOUR dream? If not, ramp it up so that you are! Inspire someone today! Not feeling it? Be kind, be generous… be love!